I’m a composer.

I finally broke down and had to do it.  It has been about a year since I touched the keyboard.  My hands were already hurting today, but not seething with pain so bad the only thing I can do is go into self-hypnosis mode to stop thinking about it, so I figured it was as good a time as ever.  I’ve been dreaming about playing music again, and waking up feeling like something is missing.  So after days and days of dreams like this, I played.  Something simple, something with a very light touch, something new I’d made up just to play on the spot.  I just played the one song, but after it I felt like I filled in something that’s been missing from me, something I need to do.  I took a deep breath, and I felt like me again.  My hands may never get better, but I’m now convinced I have to keep playing, even if it’s just one song, every once in a while, just so I can say, I’m Mary Beth.  I’m a composer.  I can play anything with strings or percussion.  It’s what I’m good at.

Thanks for all your continued thoughts and prayers.